Costa Rica - the recap

One afternoon in mid July Elliott called me from work to ask if I might be interested in going to Costa Rica. Come again???? His employer contracted with another software development company in Costa Rica and they needed someone to go and get the Costa Rican group "up to speed" on their product. They asked Elliott to be the someone and the trip was for 3 weeks. Not wanting to leave his family behind for that long (thanks honey!) he was told that Lilly and I could join him (paying for our own airfare of course). Oh, and we needed to leave in 2 weeks.

A little bit of scrambling ensued as we prepared to leave the country so quickly and for that long. Did you know you can get a passport the same day if you have to? Did you also know that I set a world record for number of trips to WalMart and Target in a 2-week period? Well, I think I did anyway.

So, off to Costa Rica we went for an amazing adventure! I won't begin to try and recount the whole trip here but I did put 30-some pictures up on Flickr. I had to choose from over 700 pictures, so 30-something is quite a feat.

During the week Elliott worked and Lilly and I played. We spent lots of time in the pools at the hotel, wandering around, checking out the mall/shops/restaurants across the road from the hotel and seeing local sights. In the evening when Elliott got "home" we would all head out to dinner. Sometimes at a place within walking distance, sometimes at the hotel and sometimes on a driving adventure. (Side note: Elliott was so brave and drove like a local pro. The driving and the drivers there are CRAZY!!!!!!!!)

On the weekends we took the opportunity to really explore the country. We saw waterfalls, exotic birds, monkeys, crocodiles, took a jungle river boat tour, explored one of the volcanoes, zip-lined in the rainforest, rode horses and went to the most beautiful beach we have ever seen.

What great memories we made! Elliott and I want to go back in 5 years, but for the relaxing beach vacation version. Anyone want to stay with a 9-year-old Lilly???

First day of school

We got back from our 3 week trip to Costa Rica (a post to come, I promise) in the wee hours of Saturday morning. Then on Monday Lilly started preschool. Yeah, we like to just jam everything together like that. Or not.

Anyway, she had the weekend to rest up and she was so excited to get to finally go to school! Backpack, check. Lunchbox, check. Tissues for mommy, check.

She is going to a 4-year-old kindergarden class at a local Christian school, but it's the equivalent of preschool. All of the school kids met in the gym to begin with prayer and were then dismissed by class. I stood back and watched as Lilly sat with her new little peers. When her class was dismissed I gave her a kiss and watched them file out of the gym. And then I cried.

All I could think of was how I had spent the last 4 1/2 years with her at almost every moment. Except for very short periods, I shared in what she was doing all of the time. I knew every moment of her day. And now as she disappeared from my sight, a new and foreign way of living began. She would spend 4 hours, 3 times a week living experiences that I was oblivious to. Granted, I knew the gist of her schedule and was welcome to talk to her teacher or even visit her classroom any time I wanted, but it wasn't the same. I panicked when I realized that I would ask her each day how her day was and would only get a 4-year-old's response. Not enough! I wanted a minute-by-minute account of her day!

I cried more as I realized that this was just the first tiny step of letting go as a parent and then I cried again as I thought about how quickly I'd be taking her to college. To be fair, I was also hormonal.

Not that is even in the same league, but I couldn't help wondering if my feeling of separation pain was a fraction of what it's like for a birth-parent to release their child to an adoptive-parent. For the first time, I FELT the panic of having been so close to my child and forcing myself to allow her some experiences without me.

I knew Lilly would have a great day but still cried as I went to the bank and I might have gotten a little misty-eyed in the grocery store. On one hand it was great to grocery shop without interruption, on the other I felt like I was missing a part of myself. Unloading the groceries in peace at home was, however, blissful. I ate my lunch, called a friend and then it was time to go get Lilly.

From what I can decipher, she had a great day. She told me all about Curious George finding bananas and that a boy hit her on the playground. She cried when that happened but then she got better. I *may* have called her teacher later when she was resting to hear that she did fine on her first day. Can you say "first-time parent?" I was not surprised to hear that Lilly wanted to keep playing when it was time to change activities, but that is part of why preschool will be so good for her.

So, we made it through the first day of Lilly's school career. I baked brownies while she was gone to have as a special "first-day-of-school-this-is-so-exciting special treat." Truth be told, I'm not sure if they were more for her or for me, but I figured we both deserved it!

Big Trees

A few weekends ago we had the chance to go with friends to their family cabin in Arnold, CA. What a great relaxing weekend getaway! While there we drove 15 minutes away to visit Big Trees and were awed by how, well, BIG they were. I put some of the pictures up under the Flickr tab to the right. Lilly loved exploring them but the 1.7 mile walk was a little much for her. Poor daddy's shoulders!

Life In Photos

June is almost over. I can't believe it.

This morning Elliott took a picture of Lilly and it prompted me to look at what else was on the camera. As Lilly has grown, our photo taking has gotten less and less frequent. You know how it goes... Anyway, I noticed that there were some random but very cute pictures of Lilly that kind of captured life around here these days and I decided it would make a fun blog post. It's always fun to see pictures of Lilly, right?

Here we go...

Her first nightgown. Nothing says little girl like a pink froggie nightgown.


Every night before bath I go and "find" Lilly and Elliott, who are hididng somewhere in Lilly's room. This is Lilly's new hiding spot. It reminds me of the scene from E.T.

Meet Molly. Lilly says that she is Molly's big sister and is so sweet in taking care of her. It makes my heart melt every time (and makes me want to see Lilly as a real big sister).

Elliott had the great idea of doing a campout in our backyard, so last Friday night that's what we did. We roasted hotdogs and made smores. Lilly loved 'em!

And finally, the picture taken just this morning. It's no wonder I can't keep that pantry glass door clean!

Hope your day is cooler than ours! My body has not adjusted to 100 degrees yet!

Lilly's first visit to Great America

Elliott took off a couple of days early this week and we went to Great America. Since we're planning to hit Disneyland next year, we thought this would be a good warm-up and trial run.

It was a hit! Lilly had such a good time. Her favorite ride alternates between the double decker carousel (picture above) the roller coaster. She rode each of them at least 3 times. We spent 8 hours there and she never skipped a beat. Granted, after that we were all beat and are still trying to recover but it was a great day with lots of great memories made.

More pictures from the trip are up under the Flickr tab.

New photos

Some new photos from the past few months are up under the Flickr tab.

In case you are wondering, yes, I realize that I am the world's worst blogger.

Out of the mouthes of babes

Lilly has been coming up with some priceless comments lately. Here are a few...

Lilly: Let's watch Things In The Sock Drawer. I mean... what's it called?
Mommy: Lessons From The Sock Drawer? (a Veggie Tales movie)
Lilly: Hey! I got a sock drawer! (Pause. Then in a dejected tone...) It don't got lessons in it though.
***

While out in the backyard a few days ago Lilly picked up a dried leaf and stuck it in her mouth. She then spit it out and said, "I think you're right mama, I'm not an herbivore."
***

Speaking of herbivores, her bath toys were having a conversation with the dinosaurs in the bath last night. One of the toys asked the stegosaurus, "What's an herbivore?" The stegosaurus astutely replied, "It's a kind of vore." (Can you tell she likes the dinosaurs?)
***

Last night before bed she and Elliott were reading the book we made for her that explains how she grew in Bekah's tummy and Bekah chose us to be her mommy and daddy. There are several pictures of Bekah pregnant with Lilly in the book. Elliott asked her, "Do you know who was growing in Bekah's tummy?" Lilly said, "Me." Then she followed up with, "I don't have a baby growing in my tummy. I have lots of food. Lots of little pieces of food. And they are growing poop."
***

You're welcome.

Birthday Wrap-Up

I think it's safe to say that Lilly's 4th birthday party was a success. She and her little friends (including cousin Avery) had a blast. In fact, it was so fun, even the birthday girl didn't care as much about cake and presents as just playing. I felt like a meanie telling her she had to stay at the table because Chuck E. Cheese was about to come out for the birthday "show." In true Lilly fashion, she covered her ears when the show started, but fortunately they turned down the volume. She and her little friends had a great time dancing on the stage with the singing characters, and each got their picture taken with the "real" Chuck E. Cheese.

Even though the party host was in charge of the schedule, we were still beat when it was over! I thought I might need an adult beverage to wind down after the party, but Elliott and I were conked out by 9:00, no beverage required.

On another big note, Lilly is in the process of breaking her thumb sucking habit. We started on her actual birthday, because 4 year-olds don't suck their thumbs. She took that statement as truth and agreed to the reminder of a band-aid on her thumb to help her remember. We actually went with 2 band-aids. One big fabric one for the texture effect, and one character one over that to make it fun. She chose Transformers. My precious girl. Anyway, as an extra precaution I bought some of the nasty tasting nail polish stuff and painted her thumb nails. She only sucks her left thumb, but I'd read somewhere that sometimes kids will switch sides in desperation, so I decided to make them both taste bad. (I painted one of mine too so I can keep track of how long the gross taste lasts. It's pretty foul, I must say.)

She has been doing so well! No complaints at all. She didn't nap for the first 2 days, which didn't surprise me, but she has slept at night (probably because she's so tired from not napping) and woken up with the band-aid still dry. I don't think I've ever been more proud of her! This girl has been an avid thumb sucker since she was 4 months old. It is her means of soothing and the reason she has been such a great sleeper. Definitely a tough habit to break, but she's doing it! We keep the band-aids on for sleep time and in the car because that's the other time she sucks her thumb.

We're off to Tahoe today to spend a couple of nights and play in the snow. Hopefully we don't get snowed in!

A Special Day

I wasn't planning on posting anything until after Lilly's birthday party, but I had to share this.

Today Lilly invited Jesus into her heart. She has been talking about Jesus being in her heart for the past week or so. On the way home from BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) this morning, where the kids have their own age-appropriate Bible teaching and worship times, she mentioned it again. Before nap time while we were rocking and cuddling I asked her how Jesus got in her heart. She wasn't sure, so I asked her if we should pray together and ask Jesus to come in. I prayed a simple prayer and she repeated the words after me. I know that she doesn't really comprehend sin and its offense to God and our need to have our sin-debt paid, but that will come. For now, she has encountered Jesus and her little spirit recognizes that she is made to live with him.

My momma heart is melting all over the place and I am so thankful.

Lots of random tidbits

Yikes! I haven't blogged since the end of January??? I hope you haven't totally given up on me.

In the spirit of random tidbits (and grasping at how to get this blogging ball rolling again) I bring you a bulleted list. But first, a picture...

• As part of the nightly reading, Lilly and Elliott read one "story" from Lilly's bible. Last night they were on Jesus' crucifixion. Appropriate with Easter approaching. Anyway, Lilly looked at the above picture of Jesus and said, "He's got a lot of ouchies on his face, just like me. *Pause* Jesus needs a LOT of band-aids!"



• Yesterday she taught me something. When a bird says "tweet-tweet" that's actually Spanish for "bye-bye." Who knew???



• Our annual Dillon Beach trip in February was great. We missed my mom and Joe (Joe was in the middle of chemo/radiation and feeling horribly) but had a great time with the Candido clan. I was a slacker with my camera and am waiting on someone to email me her pictures.



• Speaking of pictures, I have finally finished putting Lilly's 4 years of pictures into albums! Applause for me! It has been intimidating and overwhelming me for quite some time. Being caught up feels so good, and has motivated me to stay on top of it before another 4 years go by.



• Yup, Lilly turns 4 this Friday the 26th. I can't believe it. We're having 4 of her friends and our family to a party at Chuck E Cheese. Pray for us. :)

On a more serious note, we had a "possibility" come our way a couple of months ago. There was a baby due to be born whose mother was considering us as parents for her unborn child. We ultimately decided that this wasn't the right situation for us, but it sparked some changes.

While it showed us that we really do want another child (it was REALLY hard to decline, but right for our family), it also brought to a head the need to surrender (again) the outcome of our family size to the Lord. He knows our desires, and he knows what is best, much more than we do. So, in the past 6 weeks he has been helping me (especially) to surrender the outcome to him. My prayer is continually, "Make me content with your plan, whatever it looks like." For now, that means being perfectly content with Lilly as an only child. We took the crib out of her room that has sat empty for the last 2 years . For me, it was a symbol of surrendering to God's plan. Having the crib in there said that we were incomplete as is. Taking it down has helped me to better balance being thankful for what I have, hopeful for what I still desire and content either way God leads. The anxiety about where to "camp" my heart is gone. Thank you Lord.

The other thing it prompted is getting us off our rears to get some yard projects done this spring/summer. We realized that with Lilly being at the stage she is, the time is now! We can both work outside and Lilly can play nearby. If another baby comes along, the project train will again be stalled. It's quite exciting and actually makes me think, "I hope nothing comes along until we get this done." :) Of course, if it did, we'd be thrilled and the yard would take a backseat again.

That's it for now. I'll leave you today with this cutie and will be back with birthday pictures...

Preschool and poison control

You know what's fun? Calling poison control 15 minutes before you and your child need to leave to go check out a possible preschool for next year.

Oh yes. I walked out of my bathroom to find Lilly sitting on the coffee table sucking down her "Berry Bubble" flavored toothpaste. Thankfully, there wasn't a lot in the tube, and the kind man at poison control assured me that she would be fine. I guess she would have had to eat a whole 4 ounce tube or more for it to pose any danger given her age and weight. Good thing she'd already had breakfast I guess!

None the less, we made it to preschool on time and I LOVED it. It is exactly what I was hoping for in every way. Thank you Lord! Lilly was a little more reserved than usual, but warmed up quickly. She was only disappointed that there was "no pet in a cage." We can enroll in March, so be praying that we'll get in if this is truly God's place for Lilly next year.

She's up fro her nap now and we're off to her first dental appointment. Guess she won't need the fluoride treatment today...

Smart Cookie

Today was another no-nap day for Lilly. Not unusual as of late, but she did try a new tactic. She opened up her door and came out saying, "Mommy, mommy... I got to tell you something. You're the greatest!"

I tried not to giggle too much as I tucked her back into bed, not that it did any good. That turkey!

A few Christmas Pictures

I just wanted to share a few of my favorite Lilly photos from Christmas. Enjoy!

(The baby in the last photo is Lilly's new cousin Claire. Grandma and Grandpa got them matching jammies. So cute!)