Thanking God for infertility

Sounds strange doesn't it?

I just had my quiet time and had a revelation. I am SO thankful for the experience of the years of infertility, because I see daily the difference those hard years made in my walk with Christ. It's not that I was "not good enough" and he had to take me through something horrible to make me better (I had those thoughts at the time, believe me), but out of his love for me, he wanted better for me than what answering my immediate prayer would bring.

He knew that someday I would value what infertility brought me so much more than what it cost me. It cost me the life-long dream of pregnancy and childbirth. It cost me the knowledge of what a child born to myself and DH would look like. Do I even care about that anymore? Amazingly and by God alone, I can say a big fat NO. What it brought to me was a complete trust and confidence in God no matter what the circumstances are, an intimacy with him that I hadn't known before surrendering my dream to him, the sweetness and tenderness of his presence in carrying me through one minute at a time, and on top of that, the eventual blessing of my beloved daughter who I could not love any more than I do.

Without IF I would have had a child, but been without so much. Only God knew that in his time, he would fulfill more than what I wanted.